Attraction is the first step in dating. For a woman, it’s our responsibility to flirt when we feel attracted to a man. Use authentic lines like, “Hi, my name is…” and “Where are you from?” Men love honest, down to earth women. Asking where he’s from is a sure and safe way to get that awkward first conversation started.
Listen intently during the first date. If the man asks you questions and you guys converse easily, the bonding begins! It’s important for a woman to use her mind to determine attraction, like whether she looking for a smart guy, a career driven guy, a rich guy, and/or a man who can make her laugh. Assess whether or not he meets your standards. Don’t just go along with a date you’re attracted to unless your sole purpose is to have sex with him. If you like what you see in your date, follow by opening up your heart.
Uncertainty and experiencing doubts are natural in the second stage of dating. Understand that men will stretch away and then spring back. A woman on the other hand will start to glow and many other guys will want to date her. Don’t worry if your man seems to be pulling away. He’s testing the waters and in need of his space. Don’t call him or try to lure him against his will. Give him time and he will come back. When he’s pulling away, commit yourself to nurturing yourself without men. Concentrate on your schoolwork, girlfriends, recreation, or whatever. Don’t sit by the phone and be desperate. Overcome the neediness and let your man spring back. Having sex may lead to further frustration, so you may want to postpone it in order to minimize aggravation.
Exclusivity is the next step (stage 3). Having a main squeeze is the stage for love to grow. Put your best foot forward continuously, even if both of you want to relax. The former two stages are for connection. A common challenge faced by women during this stage is seeing the man cease to do romantic things. Hopefully, he will continue to open doors and make reservations, but if he doesn’t, prompt him on and make him feel good about the things he does do for you. If a date goes badly, instead of complaining, pick something positive to comment about, like the movie’s cinematography or the friendliness of your waiter. Never say, “I love you,” or anything that directly connects you to his person. Instead, say “What a great idea” or “I would have never thought of that”. Focus on the positive aspects of everything.
It’s important to remember to never become the over-giver. Women who are overachievers and over givers in romantic relationships become nasty resenters. Men thrive on being on the edge and being able to provide for the women they care about. As soon as a woman gives too much, the man will naturally go and live in his easy chair simply because he can.
Intimacy is the next level or 4th stage. This is where you and you’re your mate reveal secrets about each other and come to know the other’s shadow. Understand that at this stage, men will pull back more than ever and if you observe yourself, you’ll see that your mood swings become more frequent and severe. Don’t be afraid. It’s natural to want to defend parts of yourself you feel ashamed of. Just remember that love encompasses the good AND the bad.
Engagement is the next step in dating and it is used establish foundational experiences. This is time for you and your man to take short vacations and perhaps set up a one year living arrangement. You should use this time to test out true levels of communication, in preparation for the potential years ahead when teamwork becomes vital. If you move faster than your partner during the five stages of dating, which we women often do, don’t try to pull him along. The more your drag, the more your man will resist. Instead, go back to his level and practice compassion and empathy. Give him the time and space he needs and let the relationship progress at its natural pace. If your man never comes around, it’s not the end of the world. If yours and his needs ultimately do not coincide, then that’s that.
A little tip…practice, practice, practice. Now that you have these dating tips, put them into use! Creating positive dating experiences will support your womanhood and overall strength. Don’t forget that dating is fun and that fun can be forever. These dating tips make you a smarter contender in the dating game.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Can we be more than just friends with benefits?
For the past two months I have been seeing a guy. I guess you can call us friends with benefits.
Because we both have opposite schedules it tends to get difficult for us to meet up and spend some time together. We see each other about once a week, so not much.
Overtime, I’ve really grown to like him… enough to want to surpass the friends with benefits stage. However, I don’t know if he feels the same.
Although we do not see each other that often as you know, we do tend to talk quite a lot online. Almost every night actually — him being the one starting the conversation most of the time. Because of that I thought it is safe to say that he likes me more than just a FWB as he still takes the time to chat.
However, I found out that he has been messaging women on dating sites. I know that because he messaged my friend [who has a profile on that dating site] unknowingly that me and her knew each other. He doesn’t know that I am aware of that. I ask him if he chats with women online he said he no… but obviously that is a lie as he is very much active on the dating site.
So I just want to know… do you think we could get pass this FWB stage and into something more?
And I’m sorry for the long read! I tried to make it as less short as possible.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
You were well could. The first thing to do is to tell him how you feel and see if he feels the same way. If he does, great. If he doesn’t then you should spare yourself the hurt and move on.
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October 14th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I think that all guys like attention from other women, a man thing. Even though he is messaging them he may tell you he isnt because hes not planning to do anything about it. Let him know you’re interested in being more than friends as maybe hes trying to keep his options open incase u dont want to go any further.
Go for it, you have nothing to loose!
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October 14th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Tell him how you feel. If that makes him stop using online dating sites, he is yours. If he still continues with his old habit he is not meant for you
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October 14th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Yes… i think you should have an open conversartion with him….
Plenty of people may say that you could risk losing the friend if he dosnt feel the same way… but i think thats bullshit….
…worst case someone feels uncomfortable…. perhaps enough to need space…. but time heals all wounds….
talk to him….
could you please have a look at my question?
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmzljY3dy81FyHqN0ws6qurg5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20090919162134AA0ug4l
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October 14th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Without trust (he lied), what kind of a relationship, do you think you are gonna have? I dont trust people that lie to me, especially since you and him are not actually bf/gf. I dont see a future in it for you. I see nothing but heartache.
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October 14th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Well it sounds like you both like each other and there could well be grounds for a relationship.
He may just have been on the dating sites to keep his options open but I would always have it in my head that he lied to you about it, said he was not talking to other woman. What if he did that when you were together.
xx
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May 13th, 2010 at 12:54 am
The style in which this post has been presented is superb. The post itself ( Women Need To Be Aware Of These 5 Stages Of Dating | Millionaire Matchmaker Dating ) is informative. Thanks so much.