I’d like to tell you a story…

It’s a story that you might find strangely familiar.
Don’t be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very
attracted to a particular man.

At first, he was just another attractive man…
but the more she got to know him, the more she began
to feel attracted to him… and the more time she spent
with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep
emotional attachment and affection for him.

But there was one problem.

As her emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, she also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because she couldn’t tell whether or not he felt
the same way towards her.

Sometimes he would talk to her and say things
that led her to believe that they shared a special
connection, but nothing ever progressed past the
“friendship” stage.

There was an occasional glance, an occasional
email or call from him… and a few times, he even
opened up about something personal or emotional,
and invited her “inside” for a little while.

But something was wrong with the picture.

He just wasn’t acting like a man who was “falling
in love”. He was acting like a friend, but at times,
even more distant than a friend would be.

And things seemed to be hot and cold. Sometimes
he would look at her and talk to her, and sometimes
he would ignore her and close himself off.

The insecurity that she felt from all this, became
a spiral that amplified itself… and the more insecure
she became, the more afraid she grew of “screwing
things up” or “scaring him off”, by starting
conversations or asking him if he was interested in
her and why he didn’t ask her out.

Plus, the more insecure she became, the less time
he seemed to want to spend with her.

After spending days and nights obsessing over this
guy, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion that
if he only knew how SHE FELT, that he would feel the
same way.

So she made a bold move.

She TOLD HIM how she felt.

She confessed her feelings and let him
know that she wanted to be with him.

He responded by flirting with her and he
spent some time alone with her, and they even kissed
and held each other.

But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn’t call
her and wasn’t really “available” to her.

This only confused the woman more.

She didn’t know how to take it…

Did it mean that he really loved her too, but
that he was afraid of something?

Did it mean that he wasn’t ready for a long-term
relationship?

Did it mean that he didn’t love her, and that
he was trying to give her a hint?

Did it mean that she hadn’t tried hard enough?

Did it mean that she needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?

She finally decided that she couldn’t go on like
this anymore… she had to be with him.

She had to make sure that he knew just how much
she wanted to be with him… so she took a big step,
bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter…
again confessing her feelings.

And then, something unthinkable happened.

Either he didn’t reply at all… (Ouch!)

Or he replied and she connected with him on an
emotional and physical level for a brief time, but
then he backed away.

Then she called him a couple of times, the following
week before reaching him.

He made an excuse about being very busy and said,
“I’ll try to give you a call soon, I have to go”…
and hung up… but she never got a call back.

Over the following months, the woman tried desperately
to understand what went wrong… and what happened.

THE END…

OK, I’m back.

Now, wasn’t that a sweet story?

Heartwarming, huh?

I know; I should keep my day job, and not take-up
writing romance novels…

Now, let’s talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

But I’m not talking about FICTION here.

I’m talking about a story that rings true for lots
of women. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates
at a deep level, because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for
some women?

Because lots of women have been there in one way or
another… at one time or another… and many have
been there OFTEN in their lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story
a lot of power, is the powerful negative emotions
that it stirs… as a result of the powerful negative
experiences that it brings back…

Stories and situations like this one, really FASCINATE
me.

They fascinate me, because I see them as an opportunity
to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation, I think there is a
solution.

It lies in understanding a SECRET that lots of
WOMEN DON’T GET.

That secret comes down to the reality that if a
man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts
to confess her love, convince him to like her and
court her, BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON’T WORK; they
actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a woman does
to try to make a man LIKE HER, make him NOT like her.

They make him run.

All of those great intentions and emotional dedication
actually cause the woman feeling them, to do things that
make the man go away.

It sucks!

But it’s a strangely common dynamic, that also takes
place inside dating situations and new relationships
without women (or men) really being aware of it, and
understanding what’s going on.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how
this happens to you, that I’ll help you avoid this painful
situation in your own future…

And maybe you can start to understand what’s going
on a little better, if you think about what it’s like
when a man you’re NOT attracted to, desperately wants
your attention, affection and your time.

Have you ever had a guy pursue you?

As he’s trying to get your attention, approval and
affection, all of his pleading and effort just seems to
bug you more and make you want to get away.

Even if all he’s doing, is telling you great things
about yourself and how he feels about you?

Strange and interesting…

Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction

I’m always fascinated by the idea that we humans
don’t always understand the message that we’re
communicating to others…

So often we think that because we WANT to communicate
a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand
what we’re trying to say.

Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top
sexy and wears way to much make-up?

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t think
that her appearance is communicating the message to men
that she thinks it is”…?

Yeah, I have too.

Well, here’s the deal:

If you do something to “let a man know how you feel”
… but he isn’t open to the situation at that time, or he
isn’t ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to backfire.

It’s going to trigger a feeling for the man, that I
like to call the “Instant Ewww”.

The “Instant Ewww” is just as powerful as the physical
and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a man feels it, YOU’RE DONE.

It’s over.

It’s like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a man feels the “Instant Ewww”, he’ll start behaving
differently.

In short, he’ll back off or even disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the “Instant
Ewww”?

I got it from watching WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word
“Ewww”, when describing how they felt about a guy that
was “confessing his love”… and of course, these were
guys that weren’t loved in return by the woman.

Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they’re
not attracted to.

Often they try to be “nice” about it. They let the
attention pump up their ego a bit, and then they create
what is often an unconscious barrier in their mind,
that closes off communication or contact with her.

And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what’s
happening as any ATTRACTION and interest he might have
felt, evaporates.

So what causes the “Instant Ewww”?

And why would a man feel it, towards a woman who
was trying to be nice… a woman who was giving him
attention, a gift or telling him how she feels?

Because if you think about it from HIS perspective,
you’ll realize that the moment you do something to
“confess”, you’ve created a TURNING POINT in the
relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, men know when they are getting some “special
attention” from a woman.

And they usually know it from the beginning.

But now that you’ve started pursuing him and talking
about how you feel, you’ve created a NEGATIVE TENSION
that can be VERY uncomfortable.

You’ve triggered an emotion that can actually repel
a man and make him even more detached from his emotions.

Here’s the thing…

You can’t “make a man like you” or “change how
he feels about you”, by doing nice things for him.

Doing “nice” things for a man who isn’t attracted
to you, HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates
the “Instant Ewww” feeling, that makes it so he’ll
perhaps NEVER like you.

Men are the worst at this, by the way.

They make this mistake over and over again in life,
because they’re doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They’re
doing it, because they don’t have an understanding
of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend and you like them,
and you want to make them like you more… and you
do some nice things for them, they will probably like
you more.

On the other hand…

If you have a man that you “like” in a romantic
way, and he doesn’t “feel it” for you, and you do
something nice for him, because you want HIM to like
you more, it will BACKFIRE… and he will not only
NOT like you more, but he will most likely distance
himself from you.

Women think that they need to communicate verbally
when they like a man… as if that’s part of the necessary
process of getting a guy.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like him>Tell him you like him>He likes you

Well, remember… if you follow this pattern, yourself,
with men who aren’t already ATTRACTED to you, then it’s
going to BACKFIRE.

If he’s not into you, then it goes like THIS:

He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you
like him>He gets the “Instant Ewwws” and withdraws…

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer, is what to do if you’re in a
situation where you like a particular guy, but you
don’t know if he likes you back.

DON’T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.

Don’t buy him a big gift, do something nice to show
him how much you think about him or write him a love
letter…

Don’t send him a note to his work that says,
“From your secret admirer”.

Don’t call him several times, without hearing from
him.

And DON’T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.

If you want to know how he feels about you, do
something to ATTRACT HIM and see how he reacts instead
of telling him you love him and hearing the crickets
chirp as you wait for his response.

As a rule of thumb, don’t get heavier than HIM.
Use SIGNALS from him to find out how he feels…
and if you don’t know how to read and create those
signals, then LEARN.

Asking a man if he’s interested in you in a
romantic way, or if you are “his type”, will actually
DESTROY the chances that his attraction and interest
in you will grow.

Really.

The SECOND answer, is to not get into this particular
situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of
how and why men have the physical and emotional response
of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you’re doing FROM
THE BEGINNING.

And what’s the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you’d never ask…

Well, I’ve written about attraction before and I’ll
write about it again.

In my eBook, I talk about some of the very best ways
to learn how to make man feel ATTRACTION for you.

But above and beyond the meeting and attracting
men “stuff”, I also talk about how attraction, communication,
psychology and emotions all play into the longer term
“stuff” around dating, and creating a solid foundation for
a future relationship.

In my eBook, I go deep inside the mind of a man to tell
you the secrets and truths that lots of women will never
know about.

The eBook is called “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

I’ve spent several years now, studying the ways
that women (and men) who are “naturals”, communicate using
their words, voice tone and body language.

The way they integrate all these, makes them MAGNETIC to
be around. And you probably know what I’m talking about, if
you know any women who seem “lucky in love”. Where everything
involving men seems to come easily and effortlessly to them.

And I’ll tell you… it’s not magic.

You don’t have to be gorgeous or young.

And you don’t have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It’s a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY woman
can learn it if she wants.

But you’re not likely to figure it out by “trial
and error”. Many of the keys to making men feel
ATTRACTION and want to be around you for the long-term
aren’t “obvious”, at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense… and they’re
the LAST thing you’d do in a particular situation,
if you didn’t know the SECRETS.

For more about these secrets, go check out my eBook.

It’s jam-packed with insights, concepts, tips and secrets.

Go here to check it out:

Thanks and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Tons of women do this one thing.

And it must leave them feeling awful…

I wonder if you do it too?

I’m talking about women who hide their true
feelings from a man and fear sharing their desire
for a closer relationship and for love.

Ever felt this way?

It’s happens when you won’t communicate directly
with a man about your feelings because you think you’ll
“scare him away”.

Unfortunately, you’re right… it could scare him
away.

The way you talk to a man about a relationship
turns out to be THE BIGGEST MISTAKE ANY WOMAN CAN MAKE
WITH A MAN.

I’ll come back to this giant mistake in just a
quick second…

First, I’d like to talk about what I’ve seen in
the dating world as a guy and share a FASCINATING
story with you.

I’ve had women communicate their feelings with me
in all sorts of different ways from joy to anger to
frustration, and I know what each one does to a man.

(and in a larger context, what communicating this
way does to any person in general – man or woman)

There’s a pattern to the dating experiences that
I’d like to share.

THE STORY GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS…

(let’s pretend I’m the man in this story and you’re the woman)

You and I meet. We both like each other.
(lucky me!)

Feelings develop for us both on several levels.
(physically, emotionally, socially)

You try to be “patient” and not express too many
feelings and what you want to play it cool.

We have a great “connection”, but we never talk
about what we want in our future around dating,
a relationship or marriage.

Time goes by and things are great for us.

Eventually, you begin to see that you’re not
getting what you want from me in the relationship.

You want more, but you’re scared of talking to me
about it because you don’t know where I’m at.

You’re scared because I’ve talked to you about all
the bad experiences I’ve had with women in the past.

And sometimes I even make negative remarks about
women and their emotions.

You don’t want to ruin the good things we have
going and rock the boat, but in the back of your
mind you know that you’ll want to deal with the
negative emotions that are slowly but surely building
in your mind.

Then as I start to see us growing closer, I begin to
use my past issues to tell you that I’m not looking for
much more than what we have right now.

So you don’t say anything to me directly to
communicate what’s going on for you and your feelings.

And of course, being a normal guy, I don’t say
anything either. (Of course, I’m a man!)

You become frustrated and confused that I’m not
acting how I used to act.

Things begin to change with the way I treat you.

I don’t pay as much attention to you anymore.

I don’t surprise you or bring you flowers anymore.

I’m tired everyday after work and just want to
watch tv when I get home.

I call you less frequently.

I don’t initiate sex as much anymore.

You even consider that I could be seeing someone else.

And after a few months – I’ve become distant.

So what happens next?

You decide you’re not happy with where things are
and it’s time to have a talk about where we’re at.

But you’re SCARED of expressing your feelings about
what you want, so you let things build up inside you
until you begin to let your frustrations with me show.

And to wrap the story up…

You make THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE WITH A MAN…

You start a conversation about the relationship
and then you “let me have it”!

(you get upset and lose your cool with me)

All your desires, fears, frustrations and dreams
that you’ve been holding inside away from me all pour out
in one big emotional explosion…

This “Big Mistake” can take the form of arguing
and yelling, but not exclusively.

Sometimes it’s just extreme intensity, perhaps tears.

It might include:

- Complaining about the current state of the relationship

- Talking about the things he does wrong with you

- Showing your frustrations about what you feel is missing

- Becoming upset that he doesn’t feel how you’d like him to feel

- Bringing up past issues, arguments or disappointments

But it always creates a lot of emotional tension
and “drama”. Especially in the guys mind.

This is THE LAST THING you want to do with a man if
you want to get some positive result with him.

That tension that’s created stays with him, and he
NEVER forgets it.

In his mind, he now thinks of you as “hysterical” and
full of issues. His mind defines you by what he saw in
your behavior, and it scares him.

Yep, I know it’s not fair, but it’s the man’s weird
and twisted reality…

I’ve heard hundreds, maybe thousands, of men talk
about this exact perception of a woman and how they
fear being with a woman who they think will make this
giant mistake.

Yeah, I know… it’s inmature, selfish and not fair of
the man, but it’s the reality of the situation that lots
of women end up in with men.

So how do you avoid this….?

I’ll tell you how in THREE EASY STEPS.

Step 1) You Need To Understand What’s Going On Inside The
Mind Of Your Man…

Let me tell it to you straight, as a man…

Women secretly believe that their connection with
a man will “naturally” turn into something deeper without
any communication taking place.

Kind of like it’s the unspoken truth about what’s

going on.

Honestly… this isn’t how it works for us men.

If you’re “assuming” you have a relationship,
and that he feels like you do, you’re wrong.

Men don’t assume that a connection, being together,
spending quality time and all the rest means they’re
in a committed relationship.

Some men do, but not most.

For a man to know he’s in a committed relationship,
and understand the things YOU want in that relationship,
YOU have to communicate with him in CLEAR AND DIRECT terms.

Yeah, that’s right… You have to put yourself out
there and be vulnerable.

Scary!

But I hear lots of women think that other women are
just lucky to have found such a great guy.

And while there are some men who are more equipped
and ready for a healthy situation with a woman, it’s NOT
luck that women in great relationships have found a way
to communicate with their guy.

That’s right, they’ve taken time to find the right
information and to learn to integrate a certain way of
communicating into their thinking and behavior.

It’s not easy, but there’s help.

Step 2) You Need To Understand What Causes You To Make
“The Big Mistake”

EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first. It’s
basic human nature.

But being able to delay your gratification is an
AMAZING thing to develop in your life.
(in every part of your life!)

Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk,
talk about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down to
needs that are unmet.

So making “The Big Mistake” is really all about
being driven by your unmet needs and desires and solely
focusing on what YOU want the relationship to be,
without honestly and critically considering the man’s
perspective, his emotional state, his commuication
skills and where he’s coming from at the same time.

When you do this with a man, you are subconsciously
telling him that you’re more interested in your feelings
and what YOU want than you are in his feelings and what
he wants.

And men can read and pick up on women who do
this instantly.

I see a form of this “Big Mistake” communication
all the time in business by the way.

Some business professionals are the worst at this
self-absorbed “need” oriented communication.

Like when someone calls me who wants to get something
from me or sell me something and they’re not very
experienced or polished at it.

The first thing I pick up on is their selfish agenda…
and it instantly puts me on the defensive.

But if they’ve done their “homework” on me and what I’m
looking for, and not what THEY WANT from me, when they
talk it changes the whole situation the second they show
me they’ve thought about what I want.

It’s very simple but extremely powerful.

So let’s take this concept directly back to communicating
with men.

It might sound cliche’, but you’ve got to learn to listen
and understand where’s he’s at and where’s he’s coming from.

This cliche’ is a around for a reason.

It works.

Patience, empathy and understanding are the first steps
towards creating the relationship you dream about.

But you’ve got to be careful to not become the woman who
gives him EVERYTHING and gets walked on.

Use your common sense and intuition to safeguard
yourself – I know that your female perceptive abilities
aren’t used nearly enough, so put these strong tools to
good use.

Step 3) How To Avoid Making The Big Mistake

Let me give you a vital piece of information
when dealing with men…

Men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying
the things that are “obvious” to women in dating
and relationships.

I would know. It’s taken me ten years to begin
to understand these things for myself – and I
spend a LOT of time thinking about it.

Sorry though, I’m “spoken for”…
(Oh Please, get over yourself Christian!!)

Ok, enough self-indulgent humor, back to you.

So we know men are AWFUL at initiating and
participating in conversations about deep emotions
and relationships.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it’s almost
always up to you to make this communication happen.

It’s important to remember to approach the entire
conversation from the perspective of talking about
what you want AND what he wants.

If you can make a guy feel like you put his
feelings and needs a priority in this conversation,
and always consider what he wants, I promise he will
LOVE YOU for it!

There’s no rule that says you can’t consider
another persons opinions and feelings first in
order to get what you want.

In fact, a key goal in negotiating is to let
the other person talk first.

When you get to listen first, you ALWAYS have
the advantage. You know exactly what the other person
wants… and knowledge is influence and power.

I’m not saying you need to take on hard-core
negotiating here with a man, but some of the same
rules and principles about people and psychology apply.

When you talk to a man from a positive place
of listening first, he will be 10,000 times more
receptive to what you have to say and what you want
once you bring it up than if you approach him from a
place of feeling hurt, communicate need and projecting
fear and anxiety.

Try this instead.

Ask a positive question or give a positive
statement such as, “Honey, I was thinking today
that I was happy to be with you.”

It might sound submissive, corny or
difficult to say to someone you’re having a
tough time with, but think about it…

If you’re going through all the trouble to
worry so much about the future with this person,
this is already what you’re thinking.

You might want to check out what could be the
world’s best collection of ideas, strategies,
insights and research on the subject of how to
avoid the Big Mistakes, and other big mistakes
in my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

It’s full off specific ways to communicate with
a man that will instantly amplify the attraction
he feels for you and help move things quickly and
smoothly from “casual” to “committed” in no time
flat.

I’ve spent the better part of the last year
making sure my ebook will give you REAL WORLD
ANSWERS and solutions to the things you’re dealing
with when it comes to men.

Go check it out right now:

Your Friend,

Christian Carter