Professional Women Should Ditch Dating For A Better Approach

Mon, Jun 16, 2014

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The advent of speed dating and match making services shows how tired we are of trying to find a soul mate by dating. Busy women who are invested in a rewarding professional career are particularly frustrated with the waste of time and effort associated with the “cast a wide net” approach to dating. I finally met my soul mate and got married when I ditched dating for the worn-out thing it is and pursued a different course.

Stop looking for quality mates in low quality places. The night life and bar scene isn’t the place to find the man of your dreams who wants to have a loving, long term relationship. Look in places where quality people invest their time. Do you like athletics? Start getting involved with running, cycling, swimming, or tennis clubs to name a few. Are you religious? Start going to church and looking for great men (that’s where I found my beautiful wife 13 years ago).

Finding a common interest is one of the most important but difficult things in most relationships. If you look for your soul mate in the right places though, you’ll be able nail that down early. If you meet at church you’ve got common ground right out of the gate. If you meet at the photography club, there you go! If you are both in the same master’s swimming class, guess what you’ve got in common. Get the picture?

I was deliberate with my relationship. It may sound old fashioned but I started the relationship because I wanted to find an amazing wife, not have fun with a girlfriend. I pursued my wife to see if she was a good fit for me and vice-versa. It took us six months to answer that question and get married. Know what you must have in a relationship and what you can’t tolerate in a relationship. If you know this before you get involved, it will make it easy to determine if it is a good fit. Do not waste your time in relationships that are not good fits – it’s nearly impossible to change people, people change on their own. Love them or leave them for who they are, not for who you want them to be.

Don’t get physical. Physical involvement and romance will blur your judgment. You’re looking to see if you are a good fit, being romantic will just cloud your judgment. Don’t worry about the physical stuff, you can work through any issues after you’re married. Don’t give away your love for cheap, save it for a man who loves you enough to marry you.

I hope your you are able to see some good first date tips based on what we’ve talked about. Remember, whatever you do, don’t be boring on a first date!

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